Not a moment passes that I am not reminded of you
A news story or a benign song on the radio
Make me recall our many good times
Each time the stitches of my severed heart are torn out
Causing your absence to be newly relived

I am told there will be a time when that won’t happen
That sanity is far away and unwanted
This pain is the last that remains of you in my life
And if that’s all I get, let me cling to it a while longer
It will be like your sweet perfume lingering on my clothes

My body is rejecting your loss
I cannot eat or sleep, defying the reason of life
Time floats by in consistent ticks of the clock
But I am frozen in that moment when it became a reality
The shock is paralyzing to my core

That debilitating stagnation is all I have
And when it goes away, I’m afraid of the void
Will I implode or explode?
I suppose these are worries for another time

study of pain

04/01/2010

from my account I had swallowed a chicken bone
one with shards poking footholds into my esophagus
it could not have been a fishbone, no too thin

at least my pride wouldn’t let it be true
a swollen tearduct had drifted down the wrong pipe
then lodging it’s bloated contents onto my windpipe
like a fertilized egg which would grow into evil

perhaps it was the championship fight I was in
I’m no boxer, but then explain the broken ribs
breaths are hard to pull as pain sticks to them
like they were basted waiting for a smoker

my voice defects every time I examine the specimen
cracking like the Petre dish of truth under the scope
the subject of heartache just doesn’t have the funding
so the good Lord found me to do a study