Before the court

The jury is out and my judgement carried with them
I cannot go back the way I came
Will I be accompanied or escorted to the door?
Behind both options of enlaced arms writhes uncertainty

The Judge awaits, too, the decision on His jester
He has seen me before His court in many capacities
Today, as lowly as a humbled man can fall
I am assured that Justice will be served

My days have taught me little of Justice
A blindfolded damsel wielding a broadsword liberally
It seems as though Her blade only maimes but never capitulates

Let them eat cake.

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Shell of life

My grandmother used to sprinkle egg shells in her garden
Composting in her own way
Giving back to her little patch

Today I feel broken
Shattered and questioning myself
Decartian decomposition of my own shell

Behind the shroud of the mirror
In my brokenness waits one solitary hope
That I may fertilize the beautiful garden around me, too

pearls of time

Billowing plumes of lofty moments

like beautiful clouds to be observed and admired

then forgotten instantaneously thereafter

such are our days and passing lives

A phrase or clever quip

a witty retort to brighten drab occasions

drift away into the recesses of our memories

staying always at the “tip of our tongues”

never to see the light of day again

Though no less fulfilling

a breath of fresh, cool air

a cold, clean drink

amidst desert sands

these are the instances we live for

pearls strung together on a fading mind

What is to happen to these pearls?

Rescue me

my wrists are bound in coarse hemp ropes

a burlap bag hangs uncomfortably about my face

the illusions of safety faltered quickly in those moments

pride left behind like a puddle of urine

my captors do not ask me questions

the walls do not answer my whimpers

only the skittering vermin take an interest in me

and how I wish they wouldn’t

only yesterday I saw the sun in bliss

blue sky tempered with shadow-yielding cirrus wisps

only yesterday I did nothing and basked in it

blue sky turned black eye of this night

as the bindings dig into formerly free skin

and the liberties once wasted whisper taunts in open ears

the yearning to be free ignites a fire within

only to be extinguished by the tears of captivity

promises made in hopes of release or salvation

promises worth the time they are offered to be executed

perhaps these promises will have time to take root

if these hands are ever freed to sow their pods

let there be hope that complacency does not catch me again

or that negativity block my safe passage ways

inaction is self flagellation of the soul to be avoided

fear of failure should be mocked reverently from outside of the cage

lest I find myself sequestered once again by the voices in my head

Polaris

How would a sailor live without the sea?

He is not a fish out of water

or a kite without wind

He would have a life silently waiting

a lunar pull of coronary waves

heartfelt urges and vacant enterprise

So I would be without you

my great expansive sea

everyday my soul swims in your fertilizing waves

germinating technicolor dreams of hope

hydroponically afloat on the airs of knowing you

Before my sails were truly filled

and a hard tack starboard showed me my North Star

under New York yellow skies, stars were only storybook characters

but you shined through the glare of billboard lights

allowing me to find my way to where I belong

my written word

My emotions sit like the lake
calm and serene, ever-present
the surface glare prevents deeper inspection
sunrays act as macho environs have taught
deflecting glimpses of the movement and life within

My dedication to write is mostly for you
since my father never taught me how to express myself
and you never believe me when I tell you that you look like heaven
so I put those stirrings to black and white type
for you to carry with you when I don’t know how to do better

I hope that the words we share never lose their backing
like tender no longer based in gold holdings
let us forever be rich in words of meaning
from the ones shared in parting or in moments of reaffirmation
so when “I love yous” are found in empty pockets
there may be reason to rejoice

Sometimes I hold my breath

Sometimes I hold my breath
it bothers you because I am silent
as you voice insecurities in jest
you will never look like a poodle to me
even if you don’t believe that you’re beautiful
I suppose its better that way

Sometimes I hold my breath
because you’re a candle placed in front of me
and I need your light to dance for my future
making even the darkness seem friendly

Sometimes I hold my breath
just to savor the taste of your scent
like the essence of a fine wine
a vintner’s hermitage made specifically for me
and getting better with age

Sometimes I hold my breath
and look around trying to pause the moment
looking at you while I sit lackluster
just a lucky fool who became a sweepstakes winner
accepting every instant’s blessings of your company

Sometimes I hold my breath
only to let it out dramatically
so you can see that I’ve been doing it
baited, you’d ask me why
and happily I tell you that I do
“because I love you”
I don’t expect you to understand

From NY to SF, with love

As you walk through the mighty Redwoods
take a moment to listen for me
I’ve sent songbirds to remind you of the melody
to which we dance together in love

As you put out on the bay sailing
close your eyes and you will feel my touch
the warm sun emulating my ardor
like when I envelop you while we sleep
and gentle breezes to caress your hair out of your face

On those strange city streets far away
imagine our initials vandalized and frozen
into the cement as we have it outside of your studio
and so I will show the matching tattoo on my heart here
forever emblazoned and branded yours

Time’s banks

My philosophy has always been
a self defining dictum for life
I know what I like and will pursue that
I know what I dislike and distance those

People and places, things and ideas
each into one box or the other
those on the fence remain in the unsorted section
until by calling, are relegated to their resting spot

Some say keeping things simple is crass
not allowing for platitudes and emotion
on the contrary, I say
it allots time for one box by dismissing
the refuse and stealing back hours for where they belong

I will linger an hour longer with a friend
burning long ashes on fine cigars
I will open another bottle with my beloved
because tomorrow may not permit such luxuries

Drama and discomfort, small talk and pleasantries
feigned smiles and faked bemusement
burn while warming my back from the incinerator
as I stride toward the bounty of life

I know who I am and will keep an open mind
as we sit by the river of time
the real me with those I’ve chosen
to share the real estate of these scarce banks of life

doppelganger

my shadow haunts me, even at night
mirrored imperfections painted black
analogous movements in sync
evil is always lurking behind my back

kindred spirits are we, he and I
ill fated twins, never to be separated
while the sun will forever shine on me
his face to light would leave him decapitated

a lifetime he will follow me
and so it has to be
for the rest of my days
I will have a reminder of a darker me

so when at night I sit surrounded in black
where the menace hides in spreading territory
I will move closer to the light
like a moth in its own purgatory