Before the court
09/01/2011
The jury is out and my judgement carried with them
I cannot go back the way I came
Will I be accompanied or escorted to the door?
Behind both options of enlaced arms writhes uncertainty
The Judge awaits, too, the decision on His jester
He has seen me before His court in many capacities
Today, as lowly as a humbled man can fall
I am assured that Justice will be served
My days have taught me little of Justice
A blindfolded damsel wielding a broadsword liberally
It seems as though Her blade only maimes but never capitulates
Let them eat cake.
Shell of life
07/29/2011
My grandmother used to sprinkle egg shells in her garden
Composting in her own way
Giving back to her little patch
Today I feel broken
Shattered and questioning myself
Decartian decomposition of my own shell
Behind the shroud of the mirror
In my brokenness waits one solitary hope
That I may fertilize the beautiful garden around me, too
pearls of time
12/30/2010
Billowing plumes of lofty moments
Rescue me
09/02/2010
my wrists are bound in coarse hemp ropes
a burlap bag hangs uncomfortably about my face
the illusions of safety faltered quickly in those moments
pride left behind like a puddle of urine
my captors do not ask me questions
the walls do not answer my whimpers
only the skittering vermin take an interest in me
and how I wish they wouldn’t
only yesterday I saw the sun in bliss
blue sky tempered with shadow-yielding cirrus wisps
only yesterday I did nothing and basked in it
blue sky turned black eye of this night
as the bindings dig into formerly free skin
and the liberties once wasted whisper taunts in open ears
the yearning to be free ignites a fire within
only to be extinguished by the tears of captivity
promises made in hopes of release or salvation
promises worth the time they are offered to be executed
perhaps these promises will have time to take root
if these hands are ever freed to sow their pods
let there be hope that complacency does not catch me again
or that negativity block my safe passage ways
inaction is self flagellation of the soul to be avoided
fear of failure should be mocked reverently from outside of the cage
lest I find myself sequestered once again by the voices in my head
Polaris
06/20/2010
my written word
06/13/2010
My emotions sit like the lake
calm and serene, ever-present
the surface glare prevents deeper inspection
sunrays act as macho environs have taught
deflecting glimpses of the movement and life within
My dedication to write is mostly for you
since my father never taught me how to express myself
and you never believe me when I tell you that you look like heaven
so I put those stirrings to black and white type
for you to carry with you when I don’t know how to do better
I hope that the words we share never lose their backing
like tender no longer based in gold holdings
let us forever be rich in words of meaning
from the ones shared in parting or in moments of reaffirmation
so when “I love yous” are found in empty pockets
there may be reason to rejoice
Sometimes I hold my breath
05/28/2010
Sometimes I hold my breath
it bothers you because I am silent
as you voice insecurities in jest
you will never look like a poodle to me
even if you don’t believe that you’re beautiful
I suppose its better that way
Sometimes I hold my breath
because you’re a candle placed in front of me
and I need your light to dance for my future
making even the darkness seem friendly
Sometimes I hold my breath
just to savor the taste of your scent
like the essence of a fine wine
a vintner’s hermitage made specifically for me
and getting better with age
Sometimes I hold my breath
and look around trying to pause the moment
looking at you while I sit lackluster
just a lucky fool who became a sweepstakes winner
accepting every instant’s blessings of your company
Sometimes I hold my breath
only to let it out dramatically
so you can see that I’ve been doing it
baited, you’d ask me why
and happily I tell you that I do
“because I love you”
I don’t expect you to understand
From NY to SF, with love
05/13/2010
As you walk through the mighty Redwoods
take a moment to listen for me
I’ve sent songbirds to remind you of the melody
to which we dance together in love
As you put out on the bay sailing
close your eyes and you will feel my touch
the warm sun emulating my ardor
like when I envelop you while we sleep
and gentle breezes to caress your hair out of your face
On those strange city streets far away
imagine our initials vandalized and frozen
into the cement as we have it outside of your studio
and so I will show the matching tattoo on my heart here
forever emblazoned and branded yours
Time’s banks
05/07/2010
My philosophy has always been
a self defining dictum for life
I know what I like and will pursue that
I know what I dislike and distance those
People and places, things and ideas
each into one box or the other
those on the fence remain in the unsorted section
until by calling, are relegated to their resting spot
Some say keeping things simple is crass
not allowing for platitudes and emotion
on the contrary, I say
it allots time for one box by dismissing
the refuse and stealing back hours for where they belong
I will linger an hour longer with a friend
burning long ashes on fine cigars
I will open another bottle with my beloved
because tomorrow may not permit such luxuries
Drama and discomfort, small talk and pleasantries
feigned smiles and faked bemusement
burn while warming my back from the incinerator
as I stride toward the bounty of life
I know who I am and will keep an open mind
as we sit by the river of time
the real me with those I’ve chosen
to share the real estate of these scarce banks of life
doppelganger
04/25/2010
my shadow haunts me, even at night
mirrored imperfections painted black
analogous movements in sync
evil is always lurking behind my back
kindred spirits are we, he and I
ill fated twins, never to be separated
while the sun will forever shine on me
his face to light would leave him decapitated
a lifetime he will follow me
and so it has to be
for the rest of my days
I will have a reminder of a darker me
so when at night I sit surrounded in black
where the menace hides in spreading territory
I will move closer to the light
like a moth in its own purgatory